Bible Verses About Words: How to Speak Life in Your Home
The ugly words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. I knew they would injure my husband, but in the moment, I didn’t care.
I was hurt or angry, and I wanted to hurt him in return. Instantly, I regretted the words, but I couldn’t take them back.
Maybe you’ve been there. They call us “Mama Bears,” and it’s not always a good name. You know, when wounded, a bear will become angry, and her first instinct is to attack.
Humans don’t have sharp claws, but we do have weapons. Our words become weapons, used to injure the person who hurt us.
That is not God’s way.
Why Our Words Matter
Some research indicates that women speak around 20,000 words per day. That’s about 13,000 more than the average man.
Maybe it’s because no one listens to us the first time, and we have to repeat the same things over and over! Whether the number is exact or not, one thing is clear, speaking so many words gives us many opportunities to use them for good or bad.
Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”
Words are powerful. They have the power to build up or tear down. While words don’t have the power to bring physical death, they do damage and kill relationships.
Once you speak them, you can’t take them back. Even if you apologize and are forgiven, the words are still out there.
As we get older, memories from our childhoods naturally fade. There are many things I don’t remember about the years I was in school, family vacations, and holidays.
But I have very vivid memories of times when people I loved said words that hurt me. Harsh words live with someone long after you speak them.
The good news is, good words live long after they are spoken, too. As women who love Jesus, and love our families, it’s vital for us to train ourselves to speak kind words.
3 Types of Words to Speak Every Day
Just like most things in life, speaking kind words takes practice. Sometimes, we struggle with self-control or gossip. Angry, backbiting words don’t build up. In fact, they are sinful.
Instead, we need to replace these words with kinder, more caring ones. The Bible gives us some great advice on the kinds of words we should speak to those around us.
1. Speak Pleasant Words.
Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24
Honey has many health benefits, including healing wounds or burns. You’ll often see it listed in the ingredients of cough syrup because it soothes a sore throat and helps fight bacteria.
I love to put some honey in my tea, and it’s delicious drizzled over an English muffin with some marmalade. Mix it with some orange juice or garlic, and it makes a delicious, sticky sauce for chicken. Honey sweetens and improves everything it touches.
When spoken properly, our words are like honey. Pleasant words soothe an injured soul and add a little flavor and sweetness to life.
Sweet words can strengthen a relationship and heal wounds. Let your sweet, pleasant words build up, encourage, and strengthen your family.
2. Speak Edifying Words.
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Ephesians 4:29
The word edify means “to construct, build up, or establish.”
Proverbs 14:1 says, “Every wise woman buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”
As women of God, we want to be wise! We want to build up our homes and families. Unfortunately, we’re often using foolish words to tear them down.
Edifying words build people up instead of tearing them down. Edifying words give grace to the people who hear them.
God gives us grace that we don’t deserve. Following His example, we can give grace to people who may not deserve it.
This is especially true when it comes to dealing with children. Sometimes, they don’t deserve kind words, but we should give them anyway.
Let us speak edifying words that build up those around us, giving grace and kindness.
3. Speak Exhorting Words.
And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25
The word exhort means “strongly encourage or urge someone to do something.”
You might be thinking, “Yes, I’m definitely an exhorter!”
Unfortunately, this type of exhortation doesn’t mean strongly encouraging your husband to take out the trash. It doesn’t mean urging your kids to clean their rooms.
Our job is to exhort our husbands and children in the love of God. We encourage them to do right.
This exhortation is not nagging. God doesn’t want us to heap guilt and recrimination on our families. Instead, we should offer kind, loving words that point our families to Jesus.
How to Speak the Right Kind of Words
So how do we actually change the words that come out of our mouths—especially when emotions run high?
The Bible tells us in Luke 6:45 that, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.”
In other words, what you put into your heart eventually comes out of your mouth. If you fill your heart and mind with negativity and ugliness, negativity and ugliness will come out of your mouth.
This means we need to be intentional about putting good things into our hearts.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Philippians 4:8
Fill your heart with things that are honest, true, pure, and lovely.
It’s easier said than done. The world is full of ugly, dishonest things — social media posts, videos, television, movies, comments, magazines, and books.
These things don’t hide. They’re on full display as soon as you open your phone, go into the grocery store, or turn on the TV. If you don’t want to see them, you have to intentionally block them.
Maybe you need to take a social media fast, unfollow particular accounts, or turn off the TV. Yes, these seem like small, insignificant changes. But you just might be surprised the change they make in your heart and home.
You Have a Choice
It’s so easy to speak harshly or even cruelly to your family. But those words have long-lasting effects.
The words we choose matter. They matter for us, and they matter for our kids.
Deuteronomy 30: 19 lays it out so clearly.
I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:
Choose life. Choose the blessing. Let your words be like honey that sweetens and flavors your home.
Maybe today, choose one relationship—your husband, a child, even yourself—and intentionally speak life there.
