How a Wise Woman Builds Her House (Proverbs 14:1 Devotional for Moms)

In this post: Discover what Proverbs 14:1 means and learn five biblical ways to build a Christ-centered home through kindness, prayer, Scripture, patience, and service.

Let’s dive into this powerful verse from the book of Proverbs, and learn how to build a strong home and family.

Proverbs 14:1

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

Proverbs 14:1 paints a vivid word picture. This verse refers to more than just a physical structure. We’re building so much more than that. We’re building homes and families.

In my mind, I see two houses side by side. At one house, a smiling woman uses tools to build a simple but lovely home for her family.

Next door, an unsmiling woman uses her hands to tear down the bricks and wood that make up the walls of her home.

Both of these women have a house, but they take care of it in different ways. Unfortunately, I can say that I’ve been both of those women.

Of course, all of us want to be that woman who builds a house. But it’s so easy to tear down our hard work.

What can we do to make sure we’re women who build, and not women who tear down?

How a Wise Woman Builds Her House

Building a house doesn’t happen by accident. Let’s think about the basic things required to build a house.

You can go to a home improvement store and buy lumber, nails, sheetrock, and shingles. Load them into your car, take them home, and unpack them in your driveway.

No matter how pretty you stack it all up, it will never become a house on its own. Building a house requires that you pour the foundation, measure and cut the boards, set up the walls, secure everything, and add a roof.

It takes a lot of effort. And it must be intentional.

The same is true for building a Christ-focused home.

Thankfully, the building God calls us to doesn’t require hammers or saws. Instead, He gives us spiritual tools that strengthen our homes day by day.

Here are five ways a mom can intentionally build her home on a foundation of wisdom and grace.

1. Build a house with kind words.

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

One of the most important tools we have as moms is our words. The Bible has a lot to say about the words we speak.

One of my favorite passages is in Proverbs 18:21–Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Perhaps our tongues can’t bring physical life and death. But words absolutely give life or death to relationships.

Home should always be the place where our kids and husbands feel loved and welcomed. Words are the easiest way to build a healthy relationship.

Kind, encouraging words speak life into our relationships. We build trust with the people we love when we speak wise words.

A husband should know that his wife loves him because she tells him so. Children should know their mom loves them because she tells them so.

Building a strong relationship takes years of mutual love and understanding. However, it can be destroyed much more quickly.

Unfortunately, we learn to use our words as weapons. Even a woman who would never raise her hand in anger will cut someone down with words.

The old adage says, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” The truth is, words don’t cause physical harm, but they break hearts and destroy relationships.

A happy, peaceful home must be built on kindness.

2. Build a house with a patient attitude.

And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient…
2 Timothy 2:24

My dad used to say that everyone is either a thermometer or a thermostat. A thermostat controls the temperature, while a thermometer just displays how it feels.

Isn’t that true for people? Some people walk into a room and immediately change the temperature–whether it’s good or bad. Others allow themselves to be controlled.

Moms are the ultimate thermostat in their homes. When we are cheerful, kind, and patient, our kids are more likely to be the same. The same is true when we are bitter, angry, or jealous.

Kids pick up on our attitudes and copy them. They are our thermometers.

Responding with patience requires us to pray for self-control. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by life. We tend to forget that the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10), and we depend on our own understanding.

We fall short, lose our tempers, and create an uncomfortable atmosphere in our homes.

But when we lean on the Lord, He gives us the grace to live patiently. We can rejoice in knowing that He is enough, even when we are not.

By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: Romans 5:2-4

3. Build a house with intentional Scripture.

Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. Psalm 119:11

None of us is perfect. The Bible tells us that we are all born with a sin nature. We all sin, and our sin requires confession and repentance.

For this reason, we need to take time to intentionally immerse our lives, homes, and families in Scripture. God’s Word brings us peace and hope. Scripture comforts us in times of heartbreak.

God speaks to us through His Word, showing us our sin and shortcomings. The Bible is not meant to be a mystery. He wants us to read and understand it.

The more time we spend in God’s Word, the more we hunger to know Him.

But it’s not enough to read it ourselves. It is our responsibility to share it with our kids.

Even young kids can read the Bible, memorize Scripture, and learn God’s will. Teach them to build their lives on a foundation of God’s Word.

Make Scripture reading and prayer a purposeful part of your family’s daily life.

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 2 Timothy 3:16

4. Build a house with consistent prayer.

Pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Someone once asked the famous evangelist Charles Spurgeon, “Which is most important, Bible reading or prayer?”

He famously replied, “What is more important: breathing in or breathing out?”

When we read the Bible, we hear from God, and when we pray, we talk to Him. You really can’t have one without the other.

A wise woman builds her house on a foundation of prayer. Not prayer when all else fails, but consistent, daily prayer.

We tend to think of prayer as something that must be done in a certain way. It must require a silent, peaceful atmosphere, or it can only be effective in a church.

But that’s not true. God can (and does) hear us everywhere. In fact, the Bible tells us that He leans down to listen to us.

Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live. Psalm 116:2

He hears us when we whisper, and He hears us when we shout. He stores our tears in a bottle. (Psalm 56:8)

We can talk to our Heavenly Father about everything–big or small. Yes, He longs to hear us ask Him for the big things we need, but He longs to hear us talk to Him about every little thing, too.

We should teach our children that God cares for them. As adults, we sometimes discount the needs of kids. But to them, their needs are just as big as ours.

They can learn at a young age to make prayer a natural part of daily life.

Pray for your family–your marriage, husband, children, and all of your daily needs. Let your children see your faith, so they will want to have a faith of their own.

My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up. Psalm 5:3

5. Build a house with a servant’s heart.

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Philippians 2:3-4

One of the most beautiful stories in the Bible is the story of the Last Supper. Jesus, Who was about to give His life as a sacrifice for the world, washed His disciples’ feet.

He is the King of the universe, Creator of the world. But He knelt to wash the dirty feet of His followers.

For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. Mark 10:45

Jesus came to serve others, and we can, too. We can live like Jesus by serving our families and communities.

Society tells us that we need to rise to the top, to be the best and brightest. It tells us that the most important thing is to be famous or to make a lot of money.

But the Bible tells us the opposite. It tells us that the last shall be first. Serving matters more than being served.

So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen. Matthew 20:16

Things like washing dishes, scrubbing floors, and folding laundry seem unimportant. But they aren’t when we remember for whom we do them. Every act of humble service places another brick in the home we’re building.

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Colossians 3:23

Every little thing we do, we do for Jesus. Sometimes we get tired, but He promises to be with us. He not only calls us to do the work, He also gives us the strength we need to do it!

Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5:24

Build Your House on the Lord

As children, we sing the song, “The Wise Man Built His House Upon the Rock.” In the popular Bible story, the wise man built his house on the rock, while the foolish man built his house on the sand.

When the rain came down, the wise man’s house stood firm, but the foolish man’s house went SPLAT!

The story stands true today.

We only succeed when we build our house on Jesus. When He is our foundation, our homes are strong and filled with love.

Put It Into Practice

Now that we’ve read these ways we can build our houses on the Lord, let’s talk about how to do it. It starts with a few daily habits.

1. Fill your heart and home with Scripture. Take time to read your Bible every day. Make family prayer and Bible reading a part of your family. Read, learn, and study together.
2. Ask God daily for wisdom. The Bible says that God gives wisdom to all those who ask Him. You can ask Him for kindness, patience, and willingness to serve. He longs to hear the prayers of His children.
3. Serve with a joyful heart. Remember that your labor is not in vain in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 15:58) Our service is for Him, no matter how big or small the task.

The wise woman builds her house intentionally. She uses kind words, practices patience, reads Scripture and prays daily, and serves with joy.

A foolish woman tears down her home and family with harsh words, impatience, and pride. Unfortunately, we all fall prey to these sins sometimes.

But God gives us grace to build our homes on Him.

None of us will build a perfect home. But every day, through God’s grace, we can lay another brick of kindness, another beam of patience, another foundation stone of Scripture and prayer. Little by little, He is building something beautiful.

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