What is a Proverbs 31 Woman? 5 Valuable Qualities Modern Women Need
For thousands of years, one woman has inspired wives and mothers around the world. The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 is the lady we look to for inspiration in womanhood. But who is the Proverbs 31 woman? Can we, as modern women, hope to reach that height of “perfection?”
This fictional woman is the example we look to as the ultimate wife. At first glance, we see a woman who is strong and confident. She’s devoted to her family and pursues excellence in all of her endeavors. I know, it seems like an impossible and even outdated standard.
But Proverbs 31 is packed with wisdom for Christian women. Yes, even those of us who live in the modern day!
Is the Proverbs 31 Woman Real?
A little study shows us that most of the book of Proverbs is written by King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived. But chapter 31 takes a different tone.
The chapter opens with the phrase, “The words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.” Many scholars believe that Lemuel was a pet name for Solomon from his mother.
Solomon’s mother was Bathsheba, and that woman knew a lot about what makes a good wife! King David had multiple wives, and he didn’t exactly marry Bathsheba in the best way. (Adultery + murder isn’t a good start.)
Can you imagine what life would be like if you lived in a house (or even a palace) with multiple other women and one husband? She probably knew a bit about what makes a good wife–and what makes a bad one.
The entire chapter of Proverbs 31 is the words of a mother to her dear son. She hoped her son would use this faithful instruction to find a wife with a noble character who would love and respect him.
This Proverbs woman is fictional, but she is an example we can use as a pattern for our own lives. To explain Proverbs 31, we first need to understand that she’s not real.
Your neighbor, your pastor’s wife, that too-good-to-be-true woman on Instagram–none of them are perfect. (You can breathe a sigh of relief now.)
But every one of us has the potential to be a godly woman who honors God in her own life.
Related: 25 Awesome Bible Verses for Boys
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5 Qualities of the Virtuous Woman in Proverbs 31
The word “virtuous” means “having a high moral character.” In other words, a virtuous woman is godly and righteous.
The Bible verses in Proverbs 31 give us so much encouragement about what it means to be a Christian woman, even in the modern day. As twenty-first-century women, we don’t work late by candlelight, feed our maids, or buy property.
But we can still work vigorously in our homes to serve Jesus Christ. Let’s look at the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman, and see how we can apply them today.
1. The Proverbs 31 Woman is generous.
You don’t need to look very far to see someone in need. Our world is full of poor people–and not just in the matter of money or possessions.
People need Jesus, and they need someone to lead them to Him!
She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
Proverbs 31:20
A virtuous woman is willing to reach out and help others. You and I have so many opportunities for generosity! Whether it’s a need you hear about at church, read about on social media, or something you know about in the life of a friend, you have chances to show the love of Jesus by giving.
Being generous doesn’t have anything to do with how much money you have. You don’t need to be rich to give.
Generosity comes in many forms, including using your home for a ministry of hospitality. There are so many ways to reach out to the poor and needy in your community.
Consider these people who could use a helping hand or even a word of encouragement:
- a lonely widow
- a stay-at-home mom
- a missionary family
- the mother of a child with disabilities
They don’t necessarily need you to give them money. But your time, your prayers, or even a quick encouraging note would go a long way in reaching out to these people.
2. The Proverbs 31 Woman is Wise.
What is a Proverbs 31 woman today? She’s someone who is able to sift through the foolishness of the world around her and display the wisdom of God.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Proverbs 31:26
One of my favorite verses in Proverbs isn’t in chapter 31 but in chapter 14. “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”
A wise woman does what she can to support her husband. She knows that her family needs her love. She serves the Lord, by serving her family.
I know this is not a popular viewpoint in our day and time. But a wife’s job is not secondary. Creating a home that’s happy and healthy is not easy. And it’s not a job that just anyone can do.
That’s why God made a woman.
Being a wise woman doesn’t mean we need to always be the smartest, the one out in front, or the one everyone notices.
The Proverbs 31 woman is wise because she knows that her role is important and that God called her to it.
3. The Proverbs 31 Woman is diligent.
One thing we all know about being a wife and mom is this: the work is never done. There will always be clothes to wash, food to prepare, and toys to pick up from the floor. Proverbs 31 says a virtuous woman is a hard worker. She gets up early and stays up late.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27
There are so many things in our modern lives that can make us lazy. Our phones are never far out of reach, and a quick scroll through social media can turn into hours.
But being a virtuous wife and mother means handling our time wisely. That will take an intentional effort and a plan for taking care of our homes.
This may mean setting a time limit on your phone activities, having a home-cleaning routine, or learning a new craft or skill. And, yes, it means taking the time to put on clothes every single day! Whatever you need to do, it’s important to keep yourself busy and avoid falling into a laziness trap!
4. The Proverbs 31 Woman is a good mother.
I don’t know any mom who doesn’t sometimes wonder if she’s a good mom. And here’s the truth: no one is perfect. But a good mom is one who pours her heart into raising her kids.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Proverbs 31:28
Sometimes (okay, most of the time) we don’t see the results of the hard work of motherhood. As the old saying goes, “You don’t eat the fruit the day you plant the tree.”
Today you’re trying to instill obedience and good manners, while also making sure they’re learning math and grammar they’ll need for basic communication, all while drying up the tears–theirs and yours. (No one told me there would be so many tears.)
But when we faithfully put in the effort, do the hard work of disciplining, and spend hours in prayer for our children, we will reap results.
5. The Proverbs 31 Woman is a woman of faith.
The most important part of being a Proverbs 31 woman of strength is having a strong faith that honors God. In the end, that’s what matters most.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
Proverbs 31:30
Our modern world is full of people trying to be beautiful. There are hundreds (maybe thousands) of social media accounts full of tips and tricks to help you feel beautiful, look beautiful or make others think you’re more beautiful than you really are.
But a virtuous woman knows that outer beauty is not as important as inner beauty. I’m certainly not telling you that being beautiful is wrong, or that you shouldn’t care about it.
The problem with beauty is when it becomes the most important part of your life. The old saying goes, “Beauty is skin deep, but ugliness goes all the way to the bone.”
What does it really mean? Just because a person has a pretty face doesn’t mean she has a pretty spirit. In fact, most of us probably know some very ugly “pretty” people.
A Proverbs 31 woman may be very beautiful on the outside, or she may be just average. But her beauty doesn’t come from her appearance. She doesn’t seek praise and honor for her looks.
Knowing and loving the Lord, and serving others is the most important part of her life. And that’s where true beauty lies.
But I’m Nothing Like the Proverbs 31 Woman!
A woman who is wise, generous, diligent, and faithful is hard to find. I admit, you probably won’t find her in my house most days!
And even though we can never reach that level of perfection that we’re always striving towards, we can put in the effort to grow more like Jesus every day–and that’s the point of it all.
We can let the Holy Spirit rule in our lives and strive to do a little better each day. If you’re a woman who is giving her best to the Lord and to her family every day, you’re probably more like the Proverbs 31 woman than you may think.
And here’s what Queen Bathsheba has to say about that.
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Proverbs 31:10
Yes, sister, you are loved, precious, and valuable in the sight of your Heavenly Father.
How to Be a Proverbs 31 Woman Today
You and I can spend our whole lives stressing out about measuring up to this one fictional woman in the Old Testament. Or, we can learn what it means to be a modern Proverbs 31 woman and focus on the things that really matter.
Here they are boiled down really simply:
- 1. Love God and put Him first.
- 2. Take care of your family.
- 3. Serve others.
Sure, this life plan might seem a little outdated and old-fashioned. but it is God’s ultimate plan for a happy home and a happy life.
Is it always easy? No. Anything that goes against the grain of society will have struggles. But it’s worth it, even if you don’t see it now.
Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Proverbs 31:25
The Proverbs 31 virtuous woman has stood the test of time because she focuses on the things that matter. And you and I can do that, and become Proverbs 31 women, too.
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