Know Your Stay-at-Home Mom Priorities

When you’re a stay-at-home mom, your days are busy from the minute you wake up until the minute you go to bed. But are you doing the things that really matter? You can get more done by focusing on what’s important. You have to know your priorities as a stay-at-home mom.

Each of us is different, and don’t care about the same things. It’s okay if your home and life priorities are different from someone else’s. The important thing is to KNOW what matters to you, and what doesn’t. Let go of the stuff that doesn’t.

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Finding balance as a stay-at-home mom

If you ask any mom how she’s doing right now, her answer will probably be “busy.” And it’s true. We are all so busy all the time. We have too much to do and limited hours to do it.

I love using schedules and routines (like my Simple Cleaning System) to keep my life organized. But the truth is, they can only go so far. Even if you try to do everything faster, you still can’t get it all done–and stay sane!

Eventually, you have to start removing things from your schedule. But you have to be able to determine which things you can cut, and which you need to keep.

Finding balance in life means that you have to have your priorities as a stay-at-home mom, and remove things from your life that don’t fit your priorities. It’s okay to say no.

Spending time with my family is the most important thing to me. These days of having little kids will not last forever, and I don’t want to miss them because I’ve filled my life with too many things.

When I realize I’m too busy for what matters, it’s time to set priorities in my life.

There are things I like to do in life: reading, sewing, baking. And there are things I have to do in life: cooking, cleaning, laundry. Then there are the things I need to do to keep my business successful: writing, communicating with clients, scheduling on social media, taking courses.

The key to getting it all done, is to realize you don’t have to get it all done. As moms we are constantly striving for perfection and the approval of others. And in doing so, we add more and more things to our list of “stuff I have to do.”

And the truth is, a lot of that stuff doesn’t need to be on the list at all. I’m doing too many things that aren’t part of my set priorities. It shows because I’m not really balanced in my life.

How to set priorities as a stay-at-home mom

Every one of us has different priorities as a stay-at-home mom. If you have children in high school, yours will be different than someone who has a toddler and a newborn. But the steps to figuring out priorities are the same for everyone.

Here are some priorities you should consider:

• Spiritual priorities
• Family priorities
• Health priorities
• Home priorities
• Mental priorities
• Money priorities

Don’t worry if it takes some time to figure out what your priorities are. You might need to do some tweaking as new opportunities and challenges come along. Or you may decide that something you thought was important, really isn’t.

Don’t feel bad about removing something from your list to focus on something that is important you. Here are some questions to ask yourself about your priorities:

Know Your Spiritual Priorities as a Stay-at-Home Mom.

When life gets busy, something has to go. Too often we allow our spiritual health and well-being to slip. We tend to forget the importance of time spent praying or reading our Bibles every day.

Our lives go through seasons. There may be times when we can spend an hour in the morning sipping coffee, reading the Bible, going through a favorite devotional book and praying.

Then there are the other times. You know the ones where you’re jerked awake by the sounds of someone throwing up in the next room? And then every single person in your family gets the stomach flu. You’re cleaning and disinfecting for days.

Or those days when you’re nursing a newborn every four hours, day and night. In those times we dream of just being able to sit without another human being attached to our body.

But no matter the season, it is important–no, it’s vital to make time to take care of yourself spiritually. Even if you only have a few minutes, spend some time with your Heavenly Father. (I’m currently loving Truth Unchanging by Becky Thompson for it’s short, but so meaningful devotions.)

I also love the YouVersion app on my phone. There are thousands of great devotional plans you can get and read right on your phone! Some of them are longer, but many can be read in just a few minutes.

Know Your Family Priorities as a Stay-at-Home Mom.

Remember those days before you had kids when you and your sweetheart spent every spare moment together? Yea, I know, they seem like a dream now.

But we cannot neglect our marriages just because life is getting in the way. When we’re in the thick of motherhood with young kids and sometimes not a lot of extra money, things like date nights or weekends away are not possible.

Even when time and money are tight, we can make time for the one we love most. A quick text message during the day just to say “I love you” or “I’m thinking about you” takes almost no time. But it’s nice to send and receive!

Take some time after the kids are in bed to enjoy just being together. I am an ice cream addict, and I love having a bowl with Billy late at night when I don’t have to share.

And when you can, go away with your hubby. Have dinner at a restaurant without high chairs or kids’ menus. Yes, you’ll probably feel guilty because your kids are with a babysitter. But they’ll survive, and so will you. And your marriage will be stronger for it.

After my faith and my marriage, my kids are the next most important thing to me. They need me to be present. My boys need to know that I love them unconditionally.

Try to make time for fun and games with your kids. Take some time to go on a walk on a warm day. Let them help make popcorn for a movie night. Have a conversation without your phone in your hand.

Often we say they are the most important, but we don’t really act like they are. (I am so guilty here.) Make a point to really show them how much they matter to you.

Know Your Health Priorities as a Stay-at-Home Mom

How healthy are you? Really. I don’t mean how thin you are or aren’t. Does your body function like it is supposed to function?

Believe it or not, we are not meant to run on coffee and energy drinks. Our bodies need sleep and they need water. And they need sleep at night, not a couple of hours snatched in the middle of the afternoon.

We can keep adding things to our to-do list, but we cannot add more time to our lives. The thing we naturally start to cut out is sleep. Our bodies start to miss out on the rejuvenation that comes from rest.

I love a good cup of coffee just as much as the next person, maybe more. But it is not a substitution for sleep. I enjoy having a steaming cup beside me while I’m working or reading. But the truth is, my body needs me to replace some of that “joe” with some water.

It seems selfish to make our bodies a priority. As I have watched family members growing older and their health declining, I have realized that is foolish not to take care of my health now.  Our bodies can’t function properly if we don’t feed them properly, give them rest and proper nutrition.

I’m definitely not saying you need to jump into a crazy diet or exercise plan. But all of us need to take some time to evaluate our health and make necessary changes to operate at our best.

Know Your Home Priorities as a Stay-at-Home Mom.

I know that homemaking is sometimes considered to be an outdated term. But keeping a house is about so much more than just cooking and cleaning. We should learn to embrace homemaking as a calling from God.

Home is the most important place to your family. We cringe a little at the thought that it’s “our job” to keep it clean. But it is. Scrubbing toilets and washing laundry seem like menial tasks. But just wait until you don’t do those menial tasks for a while and see what happens.

I love using a cleaning routine to keep my home manageable. A house that’s dirty or cluttered is not functioning properly.

Our homes can’t be perfect all the time. I don’t know about you, but my boys like to play with 80% of their toys every day. In every room in our home. And I love that they do.

That’s why part of our nightly routine is to put away all the toys and clean the counters. It helps us have a fresh start in the morning.

There may be seasons in life when scouring the oven, washing baseboards and scrubbing tile grout is not one of your priorities. So it’s important to know what you need to do to make your home function.

For me this includes:

Putting away all shoes from the front door daily

Keeping counters clear of clutter

Sweeping crumbs from the floor

Making my bed 

Dusting furniture

Washing all dishes at night (loading the dishwasher)

Your list may be different. But I hope you have one. Having a home that is functioning properly will not only look good and make you happy, but also make you more productive.

Know Your Emotional Priorities as a Stay-at-Home Mom

Emotions and mental health are priorities we don’t often set as moms. Most of the time we just push through and keep going. Even if we are struggling.

I do believe that when we have the previous priorities in line, our mental and emotion health will be stronger. But sometimes we need to go a step further.

As an introvert I have learned that I need alone time in order to function at my best. I need time to be creative and productive doing something I love.

When I feel myself spinning out of control emotionally, I know I need to take some time for myself. It might involve a few minutes to read a few pages, work on a craft project, take a nap, or scroll Pinterest. (You know you do it, too.)

Whatever relaxation and rest look like to you, I encourage you to take some time to do them. When our emotions are functioning properly the rest of our lives will also function better!

Know Your Money Priorities as a Stay-at-Home Mom.

A few years ago a friend of mine told me that her teenage children wanted to attend an event with some friends. She said, “We really can’t afford it, but I can’t tell them no, so we’ll probably just do it and cut back on Christmas gifts.”

And that is why we need money priorities as stay-at-home moms. If going out to restaurants regularly is something that your family enjoys, then you should certainly make it a priority for you.

However, if you go out to eat so much that you need to use your credit card for Christmas gifts–maybe you need to do something different.

We have friends who enroll their kids in activities like soccer, karate or art classes. And that’s great. But those things just don’t matter to us. We’d rather save that money and do family activities like going to the zoo or aquarium.

The pressure is on us to fit in, to “keep up with the Joneses.” But as Dave Ramsey says, “The Joneses are broke.”

It’s okay if you buy the store brand of everything, and don’t buy organic meat or gluten-free pasta. And it’s also okay if you do.

Again, I want to remind you that it’s your money. You can decide where you want to spend it–guilt-free.

Decide What is NOT a Priority to You.

This is probably the most important part of priorities for stay-at-home moms to thrive with priorities. Even if you have all of your other priorities in line, you can still get this one wrong.

Some great opportunities come into our lives. But just because it’s a great opportunity, or even something we really want to do, doesn’t mean it should go on our priorities list.

Baking cookies from scratch for your child’s class is wonderful. But if you’re in the middle of a busy time already, it can end up being just one more thing to add to your plate.

Signing up for a class with friends sounds like a lot of fun. But if you’re scrambling to figure out how to squeeze it in every week, it might not be the thing for you.

Don’t add stress to your life by taking on things that don’t contribute to your overall well-being. If it’s not on your to-do list, you can’t stress out about not doing it. You’ll be surprised at how you can simplify your life by saying no.

Evaluate your set priorities often

Busy seasons come and go. Someday you won’t be singing nursery rhymes and sweeping cereal off the floor. One day your kids will be able to take themselves to the potty.

One day you may realize that you do have time to take a crafting class. You might find the time to grind all the flour you use to make all of your family’s bread from scratch.

That’s why it’s important to reevaluate your set priorities. As a matter of fact, you can evaluate them every time you’re presented with a new activity. You might decide that one priority takes a backseat for a season while something else is more important.

Ultimately, your life and time are your own. If you don’t intentionally tell your time how you’re going to spend it, it will end up wasted. Set your priorities, and let the rest go.

Your priorities might be different than your friends. And that’s okay. Each of us has to make the choice what matters to us. Then, we have to make sure that we do the important things first.

What is something you prioritize in your life right now? Leave a comment and let me know!

 

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