How to Raise Gentlemen
I know that it is not popular in our current society to raise boys to be gentlemen. In fact, it’s politically incorrect to even hint that boys should behave differently than girls. And, God forbid that a boy should ever show deference or respect to a girl or even a woman.
As the mom of two boys, I want nothing more than to raise gentlemen. I want to raise young men who are Godly, kind, polite and respectful. I want them to show deference to women, open doors, take off their hats in church, work hard, say “sir” and “ma’am,” and respect their elders.
It Starts at Home.
You don’t have to go very far from home to find boys and young men who have no respect for authority or any manners or morals at all. And while I can do everything in my power to protect my boys from these types of influences, I know I can only go so far.
I cherish my husband and the role he plays in raising our sons. He loves them and leads by example of how a gentleman should act.
But the truth is, my boys spend most of their time with me. In the end, I do most of the raising, and it is my responsibility to see that they grow into Godly gentlemen.
It’s an overwhelming responsibility, and one I’m not even sure I’m ready for. In my own strength I can never be the mom my boys need me to be to raise them right.
But I know that I am not powerless nor helpless in my quest to raise strong gentlemen. I have a few steps I can take and measures I can employ to help my boys reach their greatest potential for God.
Pray daily as you raise boys who are gentlemen.
Prayer is so underrated. It seems like such a small thing and so unimportant. But prayer changes things. It can truly change the world.
In my lifetime I have seen God do amazing things through prayer. And I don’t just mean making impossible things happen, (although I’ve seen that!) but I’ve seen Him touch hearts and change impossible people.
If there is any hope for my children (and yours!) prayer is the key. I bring requests to God for my boys every day. While I pray for them to be healthy and safe, I pray for their futures, too.
I pray they will be saved while they’re young, and that they will serve God and be used of Him their whole lives. I pray for them to find wives who will serve God with them.
These prayer might seem silly since my boys are only five and three. But I believe that God hears the prayers of mamas for their babies! And so I come to Him daily asking Him to bless my boys.
I have found that writing a prayer list helps me to stay focused on praying for my boys. I want to build a strong foundation of faith for them, because that’s where being a gentlemen starts.
Parent with intention to raise boys who are gentlemen.
The truth is, good kids don’t happen by accident. You can’t wake up one day and suddenly decide it’s time for your kids to start behaving. Good, gentlemanly sons will only come through intentional parenting.
I am far from a perfect parent. But I am trying my best to be a good mom.
I am doing my best to make wise decisions every day that will lead my sons towards Christ. One of the most important aspects of raising boys (or girls, for that matter) is to pay attention to what God says.
I see so many parents who seem oblivious to what the Bible says about raising children. And when their pastor tries to tell them from the pulpit they ignore him. Maybe they think they know better.
My children are still so young, and I have no clue how to raise good, Godly gentlemen on my own. But the Bible gives pretty clear instruction about it.
Following God’s principles is not always easy. Sometimes it involves going against the grain. But I believe it will be worth it.
I know that in order to raise my boys to be kind, respectful and mannerly, I must make choices every day to lead my children in the right direction. They need to see their mom have a true faith so that I can inspire it in them.
Guard the screens to help raise boys who are gentlemen.
My family hasn’t had cable for several years now. It has been amazing what a difference this has made for our boys. I’m not saying they never what television shows or movies.
But without cable, there’s no remote control where they can randomly switch from channel to channel. Everything they watch is closely guarded.
Sometimes I am amazed at shows that are aimed toward kids. The characters have bad attitudes, potty mouths and no respect for authority. And some promote lifestyles that are against God’s laws.
It doesn’t matter how much you tell you kids, if you allow them to see bad behavior in action, they will copy it.
When kids have unlimited access to screens, they will pick up bad habits. When my boys suddenly start using words or phrases they’ve never used before, it’s time to do some research.
Many times when kids watch a movie or show, they pick up on one thing–never the appropriate thing–and run it into the ground! (I’ve heard this is worse with boys, but I don’t know for myself.)
If you catch on to something your kids are saying over and over, you might need to cut back on a certain show or game for a while. Stop those bad habits before they have a chance to become rooted permanently.
Instill God’s Word to raise boys who are gentlemen.
The Bible is a life-changing book. Kids are never too young to start helping them learn God’s Word. Every good behavior we want them to learn can be found in the Bible.
Too often kids only hear about the Bible only at church. They think it’s only for adults, and is boring. Read the Bible to them at home, and use a Bible story book, too.
I don’t recommend giving kids a version of the Bible written for kids. They need to understand that God’s Word is for everyone.
But I do love having a good Bible story book to use. We love this one. The stories are short, easy to comprehend and have really good pictures.
I made a great list of Bible verses for kids that are easy for them to memorize. Trust me, they are like sponges, soaking up the world around them. Give them something worth learning and repeating.
More than that, let them see that God’s Word matters to you. Let them see you taking time to read your Bible daily and pray. Your kids will learn more from watching you, than just hearing you talk about it.
Be the example inspire boys to be gentlemen.
Every gentleman wants a lady. One day our boys will go off and find that one special lady they want to take care of forever.
(I know, I know we don’t want to think of that now!) Until that day happens, it’s up to us to model what a lady looks like.
Let your boys see you honor your husband. Don’t try to rule the roost. Show respect to your sons, too.
Don’t be a nag–or a hag. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Show them that they are important, and that you love them. Teach them manners–like opening doors, or letting girls go first.
I know these things are easier said than done, and I can’t claim to have achieved all these goals. But the truth is, one day our boys will be exposed to women who are not ladies. But when they have learned from their mama’s example, they will know the truth.
Teach them to respect you through your actions. Teach them that someday people will come along who may not deserve their respect, and who won’t work to earn it. And we must help our boys see that manners are especially important in those situations.
Take heart.
Mama, we are fighting an uphill battle for our sons in today’s society. The world tells us it’s not cool to raise boys who are gentlemen. But when we have the right tools, we can win!
We can raise sons who love God, respect their parents and have manners. Don’t give up, even when it’s hard. God is looking for good men to serve Him, and He has entrusted you and me with the raising of them.
