Keeper at Home: The Truth about Keeping House
Recently, I came across a social media post that really bothered me. I don’t follow very many “celebrities,” unless you count fabric designers or royals, in which case, I follow a few. (ahem) But I follow a few young women who are from conservative families, and are considered famous in their own right. Sometimes they’re controversial, but many times I agree with their views and beliefs. But, a few days ago, one of them posted something that really rubbed me the wrong way, because I think it presents a false idea that so many young wives and mothers fall for.
Life behind the scenes
This young mother of two posted a series of pictures showing what life is really like at her house. Her posts included a picture of a bed completely covered with unfolded laundry, a side table that hadn’t been dusted in months, a stovetop covered with food splatters, a sink full of dishes, a bed (where she and her husband sleep every night) that was stained with baby puke, and (the worst in my opinion) a dresser covered with piles of dirty diapers. She included some “LOLs” and smiley faces in her post as she talked about how this is real life, and its’ all okay. She indicated that time spent cleaning up this mess would be time spent away from her precious children. Many times I find the comments on these posts more interesting than the actual post. I knew readers would slam this young mother for her dirty house, but she really opened herself up for that. Imagine my surprise, when most of the comments thanked her for being so honest and real, and shared how their own homes often look like that.
To say I was shocked is an understatement. Is this really what young moms believe? We like to tell ourselves that it’s okay to have a messy house, using the excuse that our kids are only young once, and we need to spend every available moment with them. We use phrases like, “Pardon our mess, our children are making memories,” or, “I can have a clean house when my kids are grown.” Y’all, these are not good reasons to have messy homes!
It’s okay if it’s not perfect
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that my house is always perfectly clean and tidy. Far from it. Right now there are random toys scattered through my living room and kitchen. We went camping this weekend, and I haven’t caught up on the laundry yet. There are a few dishes in my sink waiting to go into the dishwasher. And let’s not even discuss all the shoes in front of my door. No one’s house can be perfectly clean all the time. (If yours is, I’d love it if you’d share your secret, or your housekeeper!) But believing that it’s “real life” to live in a dirty home, is a lie that too many moms are falling for.
Titus 2 tells us that aged women should teach the younger women to be “chaste, keepers at home.” I’m not going to tell you that verse means you shouldn’t have a job, or ever do anything outside your home. That decision has to be between you, your husband and God, and I don’t want to weigh in on it! What it does mean, though, is that it is our job as women to keep our home. According to Merriam Webster, ‘keep’ means, “preserve, maintain, such as to take care of, tend, maintain in a good, fitting or orderly condition.” It’s our job to do whatever it takes to tend and maintain our homes, to keep them orderly and in good condition. That may mean something different for you than for me. It certainly means not leaving piles of anything, dirty or clean, on any surface. (Okay, really feeling the conviction there, since I have a tendency to pile.) It is a big responsibility, and, while many husbands–mine included-are willing to help, they are not instructed by God to keep the home! That’s our job alone! There are systems and routines we can put in place to make keeping our homes easier and faster, and not the overwhelming task that it sometimes seems to be.
Clean house, happy home
Keeping house is about more that just how it looks to people outside. The state of our homes influences our moods and well-being. It means a lot to our husbands and children to have a clean place live, sleep and play. King Solomon’s mother, Bathsheba, wrote to him in Proverbs 31 about the virtuous woman. She said, “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” We may think that a clean, tidy home doesn’t really mean anything to our family, but, trust me, it does.
Mamas, let’s not fall into the trap of believing that we’re too busy to keep our homes. Let’s not convince ourselves that being the “keeper” is somehow beneath our dignity, or that cleaning our house is demeaning. It’s hard, it’s a never-ending job, but it is what God called us to do. There is always dignity in doing what He asks. If you truly feel overwhelmed with the task of keeping your home, I highly recommend Simply Clean by Becky Rapinchuk. This book can really help you build a cleaning routine that works for you. I’ve been using Becky’s system for several years now, and I’m very satisfied. If you’re looking for an approach to clean your whole house before you start a routine, I recommend Having a Martha Home the Mary Way by Sarah Mae. This is a great book to help you clean and declutter your whole house in 31 days!
Life happens. Laundry piles up. Floors get dirty. We get sidetracked after changing the baby, and forget to throw away the diaper. The kids get sick and we get behind on our chores. It’s not going to be perfect most of the time. But to allow ourselves to live in state of perpetual chaos and dirt, is not right. It’s not in God’s plan for us, or for our families. Living in the midst of a mess is not His will. There’s a reason the old-timers used to say, “Cleanliness is next to godliness.” Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go fold some laundry!
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