How to Be a Happy Stay-at-Home Mom

I feel like my social media feeds are full of memes poking fun at motherhood–especially the stay-at-home mom. She’s often pictured as exhausted, overwhelmed and resigned to a role she’d rather not have. But I disagree. I think many of us are happy stay-at-home moms.

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But the stereotypes still slap us in the face. I think it’s because so many people don’t understand what we do, or why we do it.

Popular thought seem to say that as women who spend our time surrounded by kids, rarely enjoying adult conversations, we cannot possibly be happy or fulfilled.

Can I share a little secret with you? (Although you may already know this.) It’s possible to be a happy stay-at-home mom. Happy with the life you’ve chosen. (Yes, some of us actually choose this life over a career and (gasp!) money.) Happy with the little people you spend your time with.

It’s okay to be happy at home.

I have been a happy stay-at-home mom now for six years. And I’m still surprised at the things people assume about me or my life.

Too often women who choose to stay home with their kids are made to feel inferior or less-than. When we say we “don’t work” we are accused of being lazy. Or it’s assumed that we long for a job.

Or we get long Facebook posts telling us that we shouldn’t brag about staying at home, since so many moms would love to, and can’t because they “have to work.”

It can really bring a mama down. But we don’t have to let it! There are a few truths I’ve learned about happy stay-at-home moms. And they don’t exactly fit the memes you’ll see on Facebook.

Happy Stay-at-Home Moms Don’t Wish for a Career

I’m not going to pretend to you that life at home with kids is always rosy and happy. It’s sometimes hard and discouraging. We deal with a lot of stay-at-home mom struggles. But I wouldn’t trade these times for anything.

Before I had kids I had a job that I really enjoyed. I could’ve made a great career out of it. But I sat at my desk every day and wished I could be at home. One day I realized that I never sat at home and wished I could be at work, so I quit.

Do I ever miss the income from working a full-time job? Absolutely. It would be nice to have a newer car, take vacations or wear the latest fashions.

But when my baby wakes up sick and just wants mama to hold him, I’m so thankful I don’t have to leave him with someone else while I go to work. I would not trade my life at home for a career. Even one that paid me the big bucks.

I know that it’s hard for families to survive on one income in these times. But stay-at-home moms have so many more options than moms in the past.

The internet gives us hundreds of options for being able to stay home with our kids, while still earning money. I write this blog, as well as have my own virtual assistant business.

If you are a mom who would like some options for staying home and still making money, I highly recommend the book Money Making Mom by Crystal Paine. It’s full of ideas to help you impact your family’s finances–and still be there for your kids.

Happy Stay-at-Home Moms Don’t Live for Starbucks, Target and Yoga Pants

Whenever Halloween rolls around you’re guaranteed to see a stay-at-home mom “costume.” A girl will put on yoga pants (probably stained), put her hair in a messy bun and hold a Starbucks mug.

If she’s really creative, she’ll glue some baby dolls to her clothes and add some circles under her eyes. Everyone will get a good laugh, and she’ll probably go viral on social media.

I won’t get offended, because it is funny. But it’s not accurate. I don’t own yoga pants. (We won’t discuss my maxi skirts, however.) I almost never go to Target, and Starbucks is generally out of my price range. (I won’t deny that I enjoy a good cup of coffee, though!)

The truth is, stay-at-home moms don’t have unlimited time for shopping and coffee dates just because they stay at home. And many of us stick to a pretty strict budget, and expensive coffee doesn’t often fit.

I still get dressed (most days) and make myself presentable to go out in public. But my life is more than play dates and Pinterest crafts.

It’s okay to joke about #momlife. We laugh because a lot of the memes are true. But they don’t have to define us.

Happy Stay-at-Home Moms Choose to be Happy in the Life They Have

I write all of this, not to make working moms feel guilty. I write it to encourage you, fellow SAHM. You don’t have to fit into the miserable, complaining mom stereotype.

You are more than that. Our enemy wants us to lose our effectiveness in raising our children for Christ by telling us that we are worthless and our job doesn’t matter.

But it does matter. And we don’t have to hate it. The world will tell us that we can’t be happy without a big house, a lot of money, vacations and fancy Christmas presents.

But as someone who has none of those things, I know differently. I am a happy stay-at-home mom. I love spending time with my husband. We like to spend time with our kids. We do almost everything together as a family.

Finding contentment in motherhood is a choice that we make. Sure, we could sit around and wish for more money, fancy coffee or careers. Or we could choose to love the lives we have.

Mama friends, let’s not allow ourselves to fall into the trap of believing we need to be something more. Let’s take our advice from the Apostle Paul:

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

Philippians 4:11

It’s okay to be happy with the life we have, and not to want anything else. 

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